Journal
2023 — It wasn’t so bad!
A year full of recovery and resilience
A new year is on the horizon, I was writing about the resolution for 2023. ‘Health’ is just a part of my resolution this year. At that time I had surgery scheduled to remove the parotid gland tumor in the middle of January. So I wrote under the ‘Health’ section in my journal that I want to have a speedy recovery after surgery because I don’t want it to ruin my other plans.
Yet, life also had its plans. Turned out that I still needed to do radiotherapy after the surgery. It all takes 3 months and starts from the middle of the year. Then I thought that this would be a small obstacle so I would have to change my plans a little. However, I remain confident that everything I planned will still be running.
Well, it’s not. The whole medical process struck me really badly. I wrote the details about my journey here. I can’t fully function as a human being for most of the year. I don’t have the energy and time to just read books or watch the latest series on Netflix. That’s the main reason why I need to cancel a lot of my plans. I should’ve traveled across the sea to watch my all-time favorite band concert but instead I could only lie on my bed struggling to chew my food. Conditions change. New situations come in. I need to adapt to deal with pain and live more slowly at this time. Focus on my treatment while doing daily activities with this little energy. I live it while trying to believe that time will heal with all the effort I make.
When the whole chapter of this medical thing was over, I still needed quite a lot of time to recover. It will spend the rest of 2023 even until the next year. However, during this period, I came to the realization that I had been given the chance to slow down and allow me to appreciate the world around us. The refusal to rush anything. This reminds me of the many opportunities and moments I take for granted to savor each day. The simple but beautiful things in life.
In a year full of recovery and resilience, I have more time to look around.
Some animals, such as bears, hedgehogs, and certain rodents, enter a state of hibernation during the winter months. During this time, their metabolic rate drops significantly, and they remain in a state of dormancy, conserving energy by slowing down bodily functions. Plants also enter a period of dormancy during unfavorable conditions, such as winter or dry seasons. During this time, the plant slows down its metabolic processes, ceases active growth, and conserves energy. Deciduous trees, for instance, shed their leaves and enter a dormant state in winter. Not so very long ago, humans, similar to the animals and plants on Earth, moved through natural cycles at nature’s pace. Nature has a remarkable capacity to inspire us to slow down in life through its inherent tranquility, rhythms, and beauty.
I take all of these as a sign to take the time to be fully present today. In a world where you don’t know what will happen next, I just do what I can right now. I never regret all the unexpected things that happened this year because I believe it happens for a reason even when I don’t know the reason. After I overcome the challenge, I’ve learned the lesson. Always. No matter what comes my way.
I was thinking that I did nothing in this year. I felt that 2023 is a waste. Then I reopen my journal just to find out I go through 100% of my bad days. I saw the sunrise after every sunset. I made mistakes and learned from them. I was the reason someone felt seen and loved. I was still trying every day and never gave up. That’s something to celebrate.
How’s your 2023 so far? We had some good times, didn’t we?
